Heron

Do you ever wish your characters were real? Just so that you could see them, touch them, hear the sound of their voice. Just so that you could really know them.

I'm struggling with Heron right now. He's so complex. There are so many little things that make him Heron, and I'm having trouble piecing them all together. There's his past, with his brother and Serifina, back when being a psychic vampire was new to him. There's the witches, and him losing everything he'd ever cared about. That was what ruined him the first time. Then there's Jackie, slowly becoming part of his family, trying to fix things. That helped, but not enough. All those things are small really. They're so far in the past that they don't bother me as much.

It's the start of A New Beginning where things stop fitting. He falls in love with someone who hates him. He has all these awful habits that he uses to try and dull his pain. She can't stand that. He tries to change. It's hard at first, but for her he'd do anything. In Just Another Ending he finally starts to win her over. They fall in love, despite her reluctance.

Somewhere in the Middle is where things really fall apart for me. When he's with the band, and with the girl, he's bright and finally happy. He laughs, he loves, and he lives life to the fullest. He is so in love with this girl that it makes my head spin just thinking about it. But when they go to the Otherworld he almost completely ignores her, instead spending all his time with his first love, Serifina. Their relationship falls apart, and he again is the way he was in the beginning, as if he'd never met the girl. In the end he realizes his mistake and does everything he can to win her back.

In the beginning of The Last Chapter they are happy once again. They're married and living together, and they have a perfect life. The Heron just leaves, supposedly to go after Serifina once again. It just doesn't fit. Every time he's happy, he goes off and ruins it. Maybe he doesn't realize at first, but you would think after all this time he would've learned.

I think the hardest part for me is the band. I just can't fit that happy, joking guy with the rest of Heron. I just can't imagine him ever being that happy. It sounds horrible, but it's true. With everything that's happened to him, how could he ever feel that happy. Maybe that's my problem. I'm looking at his whole life. Maybe I should just look at his life up to that point. It's just hard not to get distracted by what I know is going to happen.

Sorry about this pointless post. I just needed to work things out. I'll try to find something proper to post soon. I tend to be really unproductive during the summer, which is why I have moments like this. I need to work on that.